American Bystander

Alta Journal

"All the really good stuff is behind the paywall."

"They're taking all the adventure out of childhood."

(Collaboration with Shannon Odell)

"You're overthinking it."

"You said to grab enough bolster to make myself comfortable."

"We've grown old together, Helen. You and I and this jar of capers."

Weekly Humorist

"I'm worried we haven't gathered enough for our retirement."

Phi Delta Kappan

"Darn! I just rubbed the 'X' off."

"I am reminded today of our founder - a man with boundless generosity, a thirst for knowledge, and a profound fascination with academic regalia."

"It's not stealing, Sara. You can use my lesson plan."

Words and Sports

"Ill trade you Zion and Lonzo for your college fund."

"Well... So much for the no-hitter."